I did not allow this to happen. It just happened.
The voice was clear. It was precise. It was audible. The words were gentle and loving, and brought me to a place of gratitude. In the waking morning, I said to in response to Him, "Thank you. This is awesome. I needed this. Thank you." I know that I could have asked so many more questions with regards to what He meant, but in the moment there was no need to. I felt peace. It was His voice and these words words which I was waiting for. Weeks prior to them coming, in a counseling session, the question was asked to me "What if you could take the labels off of what happened in the relationship, and let it be something that happened?"
What a great question to be asked. I understood the purpose of it. The question was proposed to lead me back to myself and all that I had felt through out my life, which is "We have no control over what others say or do. Simply put; things just happen, it's how we respond that matters."
It reminds me that we spend so much time labeling our experiences to define them, instead of accepting what took place. The focus becomes on the definition instead the acceptance of what happened, which would lead us to a place for healing to begin. Where we are able to forgive what was done to us and move forward with love.
Certainly one could suggest that giving it a label helps to process, but my question is does it really? Because it didn't for me. It seemed to hinder my ability to move forward and that was the trap I was faced with. Labeling it kept me in a space where I felt imprisoned. All because I was focusing on what was done to me instead of accepting it happened.
To further share with you what it means to me to recognize what happened over giving it a label is that I now had the ability to take my cause to the altar, to give it all over to Jesus, to take my own thoughts captive and bring them to the obedience of Christ, which would free me from any depression or trap of self-loathing that I may fall into.
I am able to take action when I acknowledge and say "this has happened to me, okay. It happened. I will take it to God and give it over to Him. I will look to Him to make it better."
In doing this I am able to walk in peace and be free from the thoughts and ideas that may appear and cloud my mind, which hinder me from moving forward and seeing the greatness of the present day.
When I heard these words that were spoken to me this morning, with such a crisp and clear audible voice, I knew that everything was going to be even more okay than it already was. My doubting of 'do I hear God speak to me?' was lifted and replaced with the confidence that He does.
The voice or voices that try to cloud my mind end up becoming a distant echo and they hold very little weight in my world. The knowledge of 1 John 4:4 because greater is He who is in you, than he who is in the world; resonates. I simply have to let God, our Father, live in me and through me and that becomes my will, due to fact that I can't do this on my own. That I need Him.
Today I choose to lean into God even more. To grab hold and grip tightly onto His hand; onto His word. To meditate on scripture and words, like ones spoken by Eliphaz to Job (which I had read early this week); I would seek unto God, and unto God I would commit my cause - Job 5:8
The importance of this, is being able to give everything up to God and seek His wisdom. To continue to build my relationship with Him, to have that open door to His throne room, where I can share my heart, all my thoughts and my deepest desires. Desires, which He knows, because I know He placed them in me.
As well, by hearing His voice and the words above spoken to me this morning, it builds the confidence in me that is needed to keep moving, (step by step; one foot in front of the other) to keep trusting in Him, to keep believing in Him and His words which He speaks to me.
To know that His words to me, that He has shared will come to pass. That He answers my prayers, because he told me He will. And He certainly has. It is all done in His timing and not mine. As hard as it is to be patient, is as rewarding as it will be.
So I continue to wait patiently for the day to come. I keep moving forward, doing what I know needs to be done, drawing on His strength in everything I do.
Thank you for reading.
Peace and love to you