This morning something very interesting happened. I had attended Tuesday morning Prayers at Coastal Church. At first, when I woke up I contemplated going due to the ongoing struggle of feeling inadequate. In my feeling of inadequacy, I said to God, 'how can I pray for people when I myself am struggling in all areas of my life?' There was a slight silence. I waited. Still nothing. So I waited again. (There are times when given the opportunity we can answer our own silly questions) And of course I was able to.
It wasn't about me being able to pray, it was about showing up and letting the Holy Spirit move in me and lead me into prayer. I can't intercede on my own, I need the Helper, the one who was sent to us. The Spirit of Truth. It is quite amazing thing to experience. To give yourself completely over to God and let him use you to bless others.
Later, after prayer, I had gone to have coffee and do my morning writing, which actually turned into a morning session of reading. (I am reading Jim Cymbala's book Spirit Rising) I was reading the chapter about Roma Black's story when I had gotten to the part where he felt God move in and all around him and in this he confessed he was giving his life to Jesus. It was a situation for him where he knew he had a choice. A choice that would bring him to cross a line in his gangster life that he had never crossed before. He felt the strength of God's Spirit give him the courage to profess his new found choice to turn a new leaf.
As I was reading this, I felt God move in me. I felt Him say put down the book, I have something to say.
So I did as I was asked (because that is what I do) and opened up the iPad and began to write. God said to me I am going to manifest myself in you. I was a little taken back. What did this mean? He went on to say I am going to glorify myself through you. What you said to Pastor Brian this morning about living in love and forgiveness, that made me proud.
Imagine that. Hearing that from the Father. How He is proud of you. I was a little taken back, but instant peace came over me. Then it happened...
David, a young man, whom I have gotten to know at Coastal (another prayer warrior) and recent student of bible college, came and looked at the book I was reading, he picked it up and began to ask me questions. I shared with him a little bit about what I had read then he said to me something that completely confirmed what God had said to me moments ago and what He was about to do.
He said something along the lines of "I have been asking God for healing so I can focus on my studies...", then he said "I wasn't going to come today, but I knew I had to." Bingo! There it was. The door had opened and the Lord was about to speak through me to him.
I shared with David I had felt the same way. I explained to him that I too wondered how I was going to pray for others if I was so stuck in my feelings of inadequacy and I that I had realized, it's not about me praying as much as it is about letting the Holy Spirit move in me and through me. Let God do his work. All I have to do is show up and let him lead me in prayer.
If I give up to him all I am feeling, lay everything at His feet, anything I am going through, no matter what it happens to be, the Lord will be able to move in me and through me. I have to acknowledge this. Be courageous and let Him have it. This is where I have found myself praying in tongues at times. To get past myself and into prayer for others.
In it by leaving everything at His feet, He is able to do His good works in me as well through me.
I could see the wheels turning in David's head. He got it. It wasn't a new concept to him. He simply just needed encouragement. He knew what he had to do and he very much agreed that even though it was hard or difficult to do, that is what is needed of us. This would help him with the helming he seemed.
Shortly after he got up to go and continue his studies, as I watched him leave all I could think of is, when God says he is going to do something in you and through you, you better believe he will. Even if it takes a lifetime for him to do it.
The question is are you willing to let Him do His will in you today?
Thanks for reading.
with great blessings to you,